Many expecting couples have probably heard some version of this story. You are hanging out with friends, or at a dinner party, and a set of expecting parents is thrilled they to have selected a nanny for their unborn child who will teach their baby multiple languages. Whose baby isn’t multilingual these days? However, knowing what I know now, this is probably not a top priority. Above all other qualifications, a good nanny or babysitter should have:
- Knowledge of child development
- Self-control and
- Emotional maturity
She should understand why children behave the way they do, and she must be able to calm and soothe an upset child. She should understand that safety comes first and be familiar with the repetitive, unpredictable nature of caretaking. Languages spoken, academic degrees, and other societal measures of achievement are not at the core of what it takes to love and nurture a child. Moreover, children need consistency. If a nanny is only able to work a few months while taking classes for a short time, she may not be a good fit for a long-term job.
Getting Started
- Start early. The process of hiring a nanny requires time and effort. It may take two to three months to conduct a search without an agency.
- Do not rush the process. Anyone can call himself or herself a nanny. There is no regulating agency that licenses or monitors nannies; therefore, your effort in screening individuals is key to discerning caretakers that can be trusted with your child.
- Assess your budget for a nanny agency. Agency fees can range from $1200-$5000. Some busy, working parents find this service to be worth the money, while others find the fee to be prohibitively expensive.
- If you decide to use an agency, call several different ones and ask to speak with the director. Read the small print before you sign any contract.
- For self-searchers, get organized. Label all emails and forms with a “Nanny Search” header or filter. Keep a notebook to log phone calls and notes.
- Online Nanny and Babysitting Services: If you are using an online service to find your nanny, such as 4nannies.com, Care.com, or Sittercity.com, search for online promotion codes and reduced first month rates. Care.com is my favorite online service.
Self-Search: Advertising the Position
- Post your job with an online service and browse candidates in your area. Contact anyone who fits your profile, even if the availability does not match up completely.
- Ensure that your job posting establishes clear expectations. This should help filter candidates. Consider the following questions:
- How many days per week? Hours?
- Will you request occasional overtime, or overnights for work travel?
- How many years of experience are required?
- Is proximity to your home required?
- Does your candidate have reliable transportation?
- What specific duties are expected, especially if housekeeping is included? Cooking, cleaning, laundry?
- Are driving duties expected? Do you require a clean driving record?
- Is health insurance provided?
- How much paid vacation time is provided?
- If you are uncomfortable with an online search, post ads at a local college, church or synagogue, or on a local mom’s group list-serve.
- Protect your personal information by not including your home phone or address until you have narrowed candidates. Establish a separate email address for your search, if desired.
- Request that candidates leave their name, phone number, years of experience, and other qualifications on your cell phone or email.
- Conduct a quick Internet search to assess each candidate. Eliminate those with unsavory Facebook profiles, photos, tweets, etc.
- Call your list of candidates with a standard set of questions.
- Set up interviews only with those who answer the questions to your satisfaction. Verify the hours and days required and a short job description before confirming an in-person interview.
Self-Search: Conducting Background Checks
- Collect identification information for each applicant. Remember, this is standard procedure for any job application, and a full-time nanny is going to be with your child daily. You do not need to collect this information for a simple babysitting job.
- Birth certificate or Social Security Card
- Valid driver’s license
- Home phone, address, and cell number
- Character references (no family members)
- Work references (addresses and phone numbers, no friends or family)
- CPR certificate, if required
- Proof of a physical exam from the last two years, if required
- Resume and cover letter
- Make copies of IDs and crosscheck references.
- Consider visiting the home of references to ensure that kids are present.
- Conduct a criminal background check. Check for aliases and numerous addresses in a short period of time. Conduct background checks with a healthy dose of skepticism. Many candidates will provide misleading information, overestimate qualifications, and supply friends and family as references.
Interviewing
- Make a list of your priorities, such as years of experience, experience with infants, clean driving record, irons, cooks, cleans, etc. Seek the best candidate for your priorities.
Interview Questions – Personality Assessment (applies to both nannies and babysitters)
- Can you tell me about your childhood?
- Tell me about your past experience nannying or babysitting. What were the ages of the children?
- Do you enjoy working with children?
- What do you find most challenging about nannying?
- Please explain any gaps in work history.
- What is your child-rearing philosophy?
- What is your view on disciplining children as a nanny?
- How would you handle the following situations:
- What if our infant has a high fever?
- What if our infant has colic and will not stop crying?
- What if our daughter swallowed a coin and was choking?
- What if our son fell down the stairs?
- What if our toddler son bites, or hits, the baby?
- Are you flexible and able to roll with it, or do you prefer structure and planning ahead?
Interview Questions – Job Assessment
- Are you willing to do light housework?
- Are you willing to iron? Fold clothing?
- Are you willing to cook? Take care of our pet?
- Are there household activities that you will not do?
- Are you willing to take our baby on walks outside regularly?
- How many children are you comfortable supervising?
- How flexible is your schedule, if we need to leave early, get home late, or travel overnight?
- What is your driving record?
- Are you willing to abide by household rules for TV watching and media use while on the job?
When your nanny, or babysitter, arrives at your home
- Consider a trial period, observing your prospective nanny and evaluating whether you are ready to enter into a contract together.
- Make sure that you have your nanny’s personal information on file: address, cell phone number, and email.
- Post information for all members of your family.
- Post your home address and phone number, in case of emergency.
- Determine the best way to reach each other during the day, or in the case of an emergency.
- Post numbers for the pediatrician/pediatrician’s office, schools, and a close friend, family member, or neighbor that could assist in case of emergency.
- Ensure that both you and your nanny have a signed work agreement, including agreed upon pay, work hours, and expected duties.
Nanny Taxes
Here’s the scoop on nanny taxes. You will have some friends who choose to pay their nannies in the clear (filing taxes), and you will have some friends who choose to pay their nannies under the table (paying cash). Be assured this topic will never be discussed at playgroups or dinner parties. Moreover, some expecting parents may not understand that workers must prove eligibility to work in the U.S. before filing taxes (employees affirm this by filling out a form called an I-9.) So to help you navigate this tricky topic, especially for full-time nanny positions, let’s discuss nanny taxes.
Pros: By paying taxes, you will not have to worry about the IRS or legal troubles, especially if you are an aspiring CEO or public official. Paying employer taxes allows your nanny to receive benefits that other professional workers enjoy, such as Social Security income, Medicare, disability, and unemployment benefits.
Cons: Your nanny will make roughly 15% less than her hourly rate, and you will pay 10% more for taxes and other costs. The paperwork is complicated, completing regular filings to your employee, the IRS, and state government. Note: You can hire companies, such as HomePay or HomeWork Solutions to do the hard work for you, or use DIY online subscription services, such as QuickBooks or NannyPay.
Practical Tips from Real Parents: Hiring a Nanny or Babysitter
- Your baby is hard-wired to want and need you, and they are going to cry for you. Loudly. This is the toughest part about leaving a child with someone else.
- If you are a working mother without family in the area, know that you will be delicately handling a nanny relationship for years to come, and it’s not easy.
- There is no perfect nanny. No one can be expected to take care of your child exactly as you do.
- Micro-managing your nanny can have horrible consequences. Pick your battles.
- Treat your nanny well. This is a business relationship, but it is also a personal relationship that you do not want to jeopardize.
- Do not try to undercut your nanny’s pay, vacation time, or talk down to her. Treat her professionally, and invest in her as part of your family.
- Be careful with hiring nannies for children between ages zero and three. When children are older, they can tell you what they did all day.
- Nanny cams are legal in all 50 states, even without consent, as long as it is not in a bathroom or a private place, such as an au pair’s bedroom. However, we found that we didn’t have time to watch our nanny cam footage (to actually catch something), and if you don’t trust your nanny, then you probably shouldn’t hire her anyway. Note: Some states protect against using audio in recordings.
- Be sure to explicitly state rules about phone use at home, while driving, and at the park, especially once baby is mobile. Set hard and fast rules about TV and screen time, and don’t keep convenient junk food around the house, or else that is what your nanny will feed your child.
- If your nanny has other children, your relationship may be in constant conflict, especially when you are late, because she has to make provisions for her own children.
- A nanny with her own children will be out of work more often, requiring back-up care. On the other hand, someone who is significantly older may not have the energy to chase an energetic toddler, and teenagers are on their phones constantly. Take your pick.
- Many nannies will want to care for your child along with their own child or children. Just know that a nanny’s own active toddler may consistently wake your newborn, while a nanny’s newborn may keep your older baby or toddler from going outside, to the park, etc. due to their nap schedule. Make sure that you receive a discount for this inconvenience.
- If you live in an urban area, you will notice that nanny pricing is all over the map. Super affluent households throw normal wages through the roof in certain cities.
- Set your rules and schedule very clearly up front to avoid seeming like a micro-manager later, such as rules for healthy foods, diapering, TV, cell phone use, tummy time, learning activities, outside time, discipline, safety, etc.